Editor’s note: This is part of an occasional series of revisiting photos from The News & Observer archives, as well as images from collections at the State Archives of N.C. and the Library of Congress. We hope they illustrate the tremendous change in both the physical and cultural landscapes of North Carolina.
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August brings the annual ritual of college freshmen leaving home to move into college dorms.
Digging through the archives, I was struck by this 1997 photo of 18-year-old Jennifer Cutler, from the Eastern North Carolina town of Bath, standing in the barely organized chaos of her dorm room at UNC-Chapel Hill, with her mom sitting on the floor.
I was able to track down Cutler, now Jennifer Matthews, who is a mother of a college freshman. She recently moved her daughter into student housing at East Carolina University. Revisiting the photo of her own move-in provided a full-circle moment and stirred all kinds of emotions.
Here are thoughts she shared with The News & Observer.
“I have to tell you, seeing this photo today was pretty surreal, especially because I had just moved my own daughter into her freshman dorm at ECU yesterday.
“I immediately recognized the girl in the picture, but I had to sit with it for a minute to really process what I was looking at. There I was, 29 years ago, moving into my freshman dorm at UNC. I remember the feeling so clearly: pure excitement, anticipation, and the sense that my whole life was about to begin.
“My world fit into one car back then. I had a bed-in-a-bag, a few belongings, and, apparently, a Nirvana poster that I was very proud of. I wasn’t thinking about what I was leaving behind. I was thinking about what was ahead. I couldn’t wait to meet new people, make new memories, become more independent, and see where life would take me. There was so much possibility in front of me.
“Fast-forward 29 years, and I found myself on the other side of that moment.
“Yesterday, I moved my daughter, Saylor, into her freshman year at ECU. And let’s just say the logistics looked a little different. It took us two-and-a-half cars to move her in!
“But the biggest difference wasn’t the amount of stuff. It was the emotion.
“As a freshman, I was excited to leave home and start my life. As a mother, I was standing there watching a huge piece of my heart leave home and start hers.
“Saylor and I have been a family of two since she was 2 years old. In so many ways, it has always been just the two of us. I have watched her grow from a little girl who needed me for everything into this beautiful young woman who is now ready to make her own way in the world.
“So yesterday was incredibly bittersweet. I was so proud of her and so happy for her, but I was also heartbroken. There were a lot of tears — mostly mine.
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“What struck me most about seeing this old photograph is how little I understood then about what my own mother must have been feeling. I remember the excitement of that day, but I don’t remember wondering what it was like for my mom to watch me drive away. Now I understand.
“I understand that you can be completely thrilled for someone and completely heartbroken at the same time.
“I also realized that my mom was watching the beginning of my life as an adult, while yesterday I was watching the beginning of my daughter’s.
“And maybe that’s the most beautiful part of all of this. Life really does come full circle.
“That girl in the photograph had no idea what the next 29 years would hold — college, dental school, a career, becoming a mother, raising a daughter, all of the highs and lows of life, and eventually standing in a dorm room with that daughter and realizing how quickly it all went by.
“I would love to tell that 18-year-old girl in the photograph to slow down and savor it. To appreciate the ordinary moments. To not be so anxious to get to the next chapter.
“Because now I know how quickly the chapters turn.
“Yesterday, as I watched Saylor walk away, I kept thinking about how much I want her to embrace this next chapter. I don’t need her to have everything figured out. I just want her to experience it — to meet people, make mistakes, laugh until her stomach hurts, take chances, become more independent, and discover who she is.
“And I want her to know that no matter how far she goes or how much her life changes, she will always have a home in me.
“Looking at that photograph now, I don’t just see a freshman moving into a dorm.
“I see the beginning of my life.
“And yesterday, I watched the beginning of hers.
“It’s hard to imagine a more perfect photograph to find on this particular week.”
What photos do you want us to dig up next? Send your ideas to Visuals Editor Scott Sharpe at [email protected].
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